poesy the personal politic

W I D E N I N G
is the
AB Y SS
between

what we (think we) have asked for

&

what we (know to) have received

YET
if we look
closely (comma)
we
MUST
admit

we have willingly
permitted
OTHERS
to
train us (comma)
to instruct us
to always
ASK FOR SHIT
to not even know
we
ASK FOR SHIT
when we
ASK FOR SHIT (exclamation)

therefore

what we request = what we receive (period)

YET (comma) I N EX P L I C A B LY
(comma)
the
AB Y SS
widens (dot dot dot)

Question (colon) Which abyss (question mark)

Answer One (colon) Oh (comma) which abyss (question)
hmmm (dot dot dot)

Answer Two (colon) the span from whose nearest
shore we may witness, flying ever away upon the
distant, a perceived paradise of (dot dot dot)
what
WAS (exclamation)

the
(imagined)
joys of a sun-drenched childhood

or

the
(misremembered)
perfect love
co-created
with the
(airbrushed)
perfect lover

or

the
(greatly exaggerated)
glorious motherland
(misrecalled by necessity)
in the heart
of the
lonely exile

or

the
(completely invented)
exploits of youth
in the
(now fading, now faded)
mind of the aged

or

the
(expurgated)
sins
of the
(formally)
penitent

followed by

the
(excessive)
lament
of the
(so-called)
phantasm
transparent

or

the
SPARK (exclamation)
the instant of life (dot dot dot)
still apotheotic
yet holy
the way the incinerator of the universe
is holy
(em dash) HOLIEST (comma)
especially without a damnable OLD MAN
casting lightning bolts
from his rocking chair
(em dash)
HOLY
but fading (comma)
the exact words once uttered
from faery lips
fading (comma)
but the explosion attendant
upon such utterance
still clear (comma)
singing forth (colon)

(quotation)
L I F E ! ! !
(end quotation)

and we recall our own
our dust made animate
we did rise

though all at first was wonder
in the undisclosed
unquenchable light
soon the wild-eyed wonder no more

embattled grim REPETITION
locked horns with savage PAIN
fatally impaled by dim MEANINGLESSNESS

but (comma)

(quotation)
Suddenly, bewilderingly, I was certain that
everything I had imagined to be truth
was false. Only the magic and the dream
are true–all the rest’s a lie. Let it go.
(end quotation) (asterisk)

__________________________________
* Jean Rhys, Wide Sargasso Sea

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